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Friday, June 26th, 2009
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10:03 pm - The glitters..
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| Thursday, June 25th, 2009
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10:08 pm - The glitters..
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| Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009
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10:03 pm - The glitters..
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| Friday, June 19th, 2009
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10:03 pm - The glitters..
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| Sunday, June 29th, 2008
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11:17 pm - The glitters..
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| Tuesday, June 24th, 2008
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7:11 pm - Stop.
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Can I go back to my life back then, when things were oh, so simple?
*sigh*
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| Saturday, June 14th, 2008
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5:18 am - I'm done.
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You think you made things right? You've lost this, even though it clearly wasn't important.
No loss to you, eh?
Congrats.
Drunk..but I'm sober now.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 3rd, 2008
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1:03 am - Chapter One.
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Work was a nightmare. Kept almost fainting and didn't really make sense when I talked to anyone. :/
First things first, Tracy(manager) obviously wanted to chat..so we went into the office. She asked what was up and I burst into tears. :| Sat there crying and trying to explain..saying my personal life is just upsetting me more than I should let it and..blah. She looked really concerned and tried to calm me down. Saying they value me and don't want to lose me..and if time off is what I need to get myself together then she'll give me it. So I've got next week off. She says she'd rather I had time off than called in sick and had to do a back to work interview.
She went on about how when I'm not in she's stressed thinking 'if Alison was here things would be alright!'. Basically saying I'm amazing..heh. Made me feel better..at least I know THEY need me!
Rest of the day was a blur..but I managed to remember to get Ginseng tea..blackcurrant, vanilla and ginseng. Should give me a natural energy boost.
As soon as I got back here and my head hit the pillow, I passed out! Woke up at 10.30am today. So I've had a day full of headaches and blurry eyes from TOO much sleep. GEEZ. :/
Hopefully tonight will sort it. 9-6 tomorrow..Tracy has to give me a verbal warning..but it's alright. I love working there. Realize that when I'm there.
This weekend looks to be a cheerful one. Linwood after work on Friday to chat to my mum..staying there then Denise is having a party on Saturday, so I'm away to that with Shabba etc. She stays in Houston so that'll be interesting! Not been there since my school days.. :/
I'm not sure if I'm moving back to Linwood. I know it'd only be for a year at most. Right now, I'm beyond broke and feel like I don't have emotional support at all. Not that I'd get that so much from them..but they're family. Ach, I dunno.
Hot choc with marshmallows then sleeps. ^_^
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, March 30th, 2008
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12:43 am - Ciao
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Just deleted a whole bunch of you guys since one of you is blatantly chatting away to my ex about my life for some perverse reason.
If you actually read this and are bothered, let me know. I doubt you will be.
First time in the seven years I've had this thing that I've had to do a friends cut. Just shows how pathetic Craig and what he referred to as my 'friends' are. Congrats. :)
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, February 19th, 2008
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9:35 pm - DONE.
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| Thursday, May 17th, 2007
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10:56 pm - SICK. OhNoes.
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I'm sick. :( No clue what's up. Pretty much as soon as I went to post the entry below(that I've just made viewable to you guys) I got insanely painful cramp or something. Went all panicky and was walking about the flat and my room trying to make it go away. It's still sore now. Not as bad..but still painful, uncomfortable and ick. Anything I eat makes me feel so sick. :/ Girl pains, hopefully! Please be gone by morning!
I sometimes get this kind of pain when I eat something dodgy..but I'm not being too sick with it. Just getting pain. BOO.
Mind is still squish. Not really able to think whilst in pain. I need to sort SOMETHING out, asap. It's getting insanely stupid.
Had an amazing dream about him earlier on. I was at his house and we were chatting away. This was inbetween really vivid scary dreams. :/ Anyway, we were just talking. Then we lay down on his bed and just snuggled. He kept going on about how he's a nice guy, even to ex girlfriends. Then a fridge appeared in his room, covered in pictures of his family and his girlfriend. UGH. Then I wake up feeling like I actually was just cuddling him. One of those dreams where you can actually feel things. It was bizarre..but comforting? I dunno. Is he my DreamComfort Person..?
I don't know what to say to anyone the now. So sorry if I'm not replying to texts or making much sense. Pain makes me a wee bit ':/'.
Just noticed, the pain gets worse when I start thinking about things that stress me out. Maybe it's stress pain? :/
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, April 23rd, 2007
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9:33 pm - Yo Yo.
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Ach I never ever ever post this kinda thing here. Might aswell. :) Comment and I'll be all honest and the likes.
Comment and I will:
1 - Tell you why I friended you.
2 - Associate you with a song/film.
3 - Tell a random fact about you.
4 - Tell a first memory about you.
5 - Associate you with a character/pairing.
6 - Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
7 - Tell you my favorite user pic of yours [if it pertains] (and i can figure out how, you may end up with a vague description instead.)
8 - In retort, you must spread this disease in your LJ.
♥
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(25 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, March 9th, 2007
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6:05 am - It's hard to hear from behind the door.
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Nails Fiona did for me on Valentines day..after about a week(hence the chipping). Still got them like this..insanely more chipped. They were really pretty and glittery, I felt like Barbie. ^.^
I need a mousemat. :(
My sleeping pattern is insanely messed up(slept for an entire day, from when D left on Wednesday evening). I'm feeling so much better now, thankfully. Just confused. I'm also finding it hard to remember things..but I don't know whether that's just my stupidity? I was writing a paragraph and forgot how to spell simple words..totally forgot my friends name..and kept almost calling D the wrong name. Thankfully, he didn't notice at all..he was too busy winding me up.
Been in the WORST mood ever since I hurt myself. Things are really making me so raging..so D acting like that really tested my patience, which I clearly have a lot of since I didn't really snap at him(that much). Poor boy was sick(in slight denial, as most boys are) and spent Tuesday night/Wednesday morning sweating all over my bed..so I got no sleep.
This may have been a good thing on some level. I went for *breakfast* at the Dopey Diner with Fiona and Brian, which was nice. Never went for foods with them..I don't really go for food with anyone. So, yeah. That was lovely. Even if the woman serving was very much *in your face* and Fiona was convinced the coffee had fish in it. We then purchased stuffs in Sainsburies(I bought a Bunny cookie decorating kit which Brian insisted was called a BunnyMan kit..aye). I came back here to gulp some Nesquik and see if D wanted to leave yet. Nopes..bah! I didn't want to stay in..so headed out to Dumbarton Rd to start in the charity shops there and walk my way back home, stopping in any on the way. I bought some pretty things, which all fit. I attempted to get some records for D..but everytime I looked at them, either the shop person would hover near me and sigh alot..or the records would all fall over, causing the entire shop to look at me and tut. :(
My mum gave me a VCR last week..so the charity shops were more amazing than usual! Most videos are £1! Entire season of Friends was bought for 79p each..aswell as The Wedding Singer, The Rock and Spooks of BottleBay. I keep singing the theme of the latter at people and they think I'm crazy. I bought it for the memory and to prove it actually exists. Shoosh.
Anyway, I got back here at almost 6pm to find D still here. He stole half my dinner and juice then upped and left(on a bit of a bad note..tired Ali+ill D=not very good). Hope he hasn't gone squish or anything..hopefully hear from him today.
I've pretty much just been gutting my entire room, and being ruthless for once about it. I've got three big carrier bags of clothes and thrown out all the stuff I don't need or use..mostly. I could throw out more. I'm sick of all the clutter and I'm terrified when I consider how hard it's going to be to move if I ever have to in the near future. Must reduce useless crap and make room less messy. :)
Yes, moving in with someone has been mentioned by two separate parties. I'm naming no names, this being a public entry. Rent will be more though. It's another push I need to get a new job.
Speaking of which, I havn't been in for over a week. I'm phoning today at 9ish. Doubt they'll give me a shift today, but you never know. Kind of hoping they don't, so I can sleep a little and have plenty of time for the little things on my To Do list.
My body is showing all the signs it does when I'm overly stressed. Eczema flaring up(right wrist is really bad), skin on my face is dry all over and my chin is covered in icky spots(I NEVER get spots. :() and I'm finding it hard to focus without getting upset. Ugh, no idea. I think I'm pretty chilled out..so I don't see a reason for it. Clearing out my room has helped..first step in sorting out my life. Maybe that's why I'm stressed? I'm scared..I know I need to take so many big steps this year..and I'm terrified.
Words are only words.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, February 28th, 2007
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12:09 am - Burst my bubble, I dare you to.
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Me and Jody a few weeks ago in the Cathouse(hope you don't mind me posting it in here?). I really like this picture..I look actually happy. :)
Scott, myself and Lauren at the Cathouse birthday night last year. Found this on their website. I like the fact that, for once, I don't look overly crap in a group picture.
I really miss people and things. Having a bit of a crap day.
Okay, that's an understatement. It's mostly due to the fact that I feel like I'm going to throw up. My stomach feels like it's actually on fire and everytime I stand up I almost fall over. Not a clue what's up, but I hope it's gone by tomorrow.
Conversations are confusing me..and I'm not sure who to take seriously most of the time. If someone cracks jokes and takes the piss out of you pretty much the entire time you spend with them..how are you to know when they're being serious? I made this daft decision to just not take anyone seriously, to chill and if they actually were serious then I'd find out sooner or later. Doesn't really work though, does it?
I have no idea what's going on. GAH MEH. I don't particularly want to post about it in here either, friends only or publicly.
It's all good, really. Just something that was said has got me..uh..'boggled'. :/ Makes me inwardly smile..like a stupid kid. But, at the same time..it's pretty fucked up.
I hate when things are scary and messed up..but I really really really like the thought of them. It's my life in a nutshell, really. I did attempt to bring it up..but it was shot down with a joke, as usual. Oh wells.
In more happy news, diet is going pretty damn well. Being ill has helped, obviously. I havn't weighed myself since starting..but I've lost about an inch off my upper arms(which still look seriously ugly), hips, chest and waist. This has made me smile, considering how bloaty I am today. Jeans are too big for me now though..which is frustrating! The belt makes the material bunch up and they still fall down awkwardly. :( People I havn't seen for a while keep going on at me about how much weight I've lost. I'm a bit crap at accepting any kind of compliment, as you guys probably know. My reaction in my head is to say 'uh..no..I've lost like nothing and I need to lose an insane amount still..'. Reaction out loud is to stumble over sentences such as 'uh..not really' and 'thanks..but I ain't lost that much'. These are met with severe protest so I mumble more acceptable sentences and change the subject. Marie also pointed out that I'm a totally different girl to who I used to be, in a good way. I'm more self confident..I'm not really taking that much shit from people..and I'm just..confident. I could go into a room of people I don't know and probably start chatting to them. No idea how or why, mind. I just know I could.
I did just spend the last hour typing up the past weeks events. But I'd rather not, actually. It all gets me a bit too upset in my current state. I feel like I want to cuddle up to someone and fall asleep while we watch a film.
See the kind of ills where you burst into tears cos you feel that shit? It's not much fun, is it?
...ya know, I actually would like that to happen. Don't dance around the point and talk to me about it, please.
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| Monday, February 19th, 2007
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9:29 pm - Everything looks perfect from far away..
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First off, new hair. Hoping to dye it a pretty bright red soonish.
Hey guys. It's been over a month, and the last entry wasn't exactly happy. :/
I'm seriously alright now. Everything seems to be good and I've made some really awesome friends lately. I've just gotten into the habit of typing up private entries full of rambles about Dec and my weight that I'm pretty sure you kids would rather not see.
Things with D are fine. Went through a bit of a ':/' stage..and it is a bit messed up at points..but in general, we're just having fun and it's great. I'm seeing more of my friends, which was prompted by him to begin with..but actually makes me feel alot better and now I'm enjoying myself and happier because I'm always doing something and not sitting around moping and missing people. For example, even though I've been pretty ill with some obscure cold/flu for the past week..I went out on Valentines day with my girls. Rach bought us all necklaces and we danced away in the Cathouse and had a great time. Thursday, myself and Lauren went to see Shiny Toy Guns. They were awesome but the crowd was full of utter wanks. Got to talk to the band later(minus Chad :() and they actually remembered us from last summer..and absolutely loved the tshirt I'd made Lauren for Xmas. Jeremy said 'aww! That's adorable!!' and grinned at me. YAS. We considered the Cat after, since there was talk of Jeremy DJ-ing..but we were way too shattered so had some chat back here and some Mighty Boosh before Lauren left at 2am.
Friday, I was totally shattered. Gig really took it out of me. Work was a royal pain in the arse(he's been giving me four hour shifts, which I dislike cos there's no break in the middle to make the time go faster), but it was soon over. Got back here, had some Cherry Lambrini and headed off to the Art School to meet up with Adele, Amanda and Laura for Adam F. Was an amazing night. Danced all over the place and had such a good time, I didn't want to leave. Ended up back at 'The Lads' place with them(the lads), whilst the girls came over later on. The Lads are Decs mates. Around 7 or 8(or whatever) boys that all live together up in Partick. Got introduced to the ones I didn't know as 'Dec's burd Ali'..which was nice. They were all lovely. I ended up crashing out on the couch while the girls left..awoke to Stevo offering me tea and being lovely. Stumbled back home to pay my rent and promptly fell asleep uncomfortably on my couch. Dazed, much?
Uh..Saturday was basically spent sleeping 'til Dec came up and we watched some tv shows/cartoons and then fell asleep. Don't really see much of him lately, so it was nice for him to come up. He also gave me a present of a giant signed Bowling For Soup poster, which was pretty cool.
Sunday, work was slightly annoying. Some lovely person had puked all over the front doors so myself and Lauren had to attempt to clean that up while customers attempted to enter the shop..even though I kept saying 'we aren't opening yet so people don't stomp this puke all over our shop! k??'. I was rage personified. Then some drunken idiot comes in and says his £8 shoes have let in water when he was walking in the lovely Scottish rain. ':|' I pointed out that they were not marked as waterproof and the stitching on the shoes(ie, HOLES where the stitching is) would let water in. Also pointed out that the only shoes garenteed not to let water in would be wellies. He wanted this in writing. :| I refused, repeated myself and offered the customer service number. He started slipping swear words in. The old me would have cowered and offered an exchange. New me? 'If you're going to use that kind of language with me, I'm not going to be able to speak with you about this anymore, sir.'. Aye. To which he replies that he did not swear and insisted I repeat the words. I laugh and refuse and repeat myself again. He refuses to accept any phone numbers and tries to give me his(what the hell kind of chat up lines are these?!)..he eventually leaves telling me to tune into WatchDog on Monday. Anybody see it? Was I on it? Let me know. :)
Sunday night was ace. Out with Fiona. Mad fun dancing about. Dec played one of his own tunes and me and Fiona rushed to the edge of the dancefloor nearest him and 'wooped' and the likes. He said he saw us and ':)'. The night was a good one and I met a whole ton of lovely girls. Lift back up here from Chris where myself and Fiona rambled and then started singing Fall Out Boy. It was hilarious.
I was so hyper and not at all sleepy..harrassed Dec maybe a bit too much as he sat posting on forums while I had nothing to do. I even drew the most fucked up pictures to pass the time. Ugh. Eventually crashed out in my bed..think he joined me at around 8am? No idea when he actually fell asleep..I'm pretty sure he watched Friends a few times before he did so.
Today, woke up at 5pm.. :/ Spent the whole day trying to wake him up to grunts of 'ugh, go away so I can get up' then 'give me another half hour!'. He eventually left at 8pm(he has work at 9pm)..but he left on a good note and I'm happy. Some of the stuff he was saying last night made me a bit 'o.O'..but he says he remembers it all and didn't seem to freaked out. I dunno.
I start an intense diet thing tomorrow. Weighed myself on Fionas electric scales today and I'm utterly disgusted. People keep saying I've lost weight and pointing at bits where they can notice it. I weigh far too much though.
Life is all good though. Insanely positive right now. :) Hope you're all well..this 'short' entry accidently turned into an overly long one. I'm sure you kids are used to that by now.
Took a bunch of pictures last night..might get more up in here soon.
P.S Dec doesn't believe in Valentines Day stuffs. All commercial crap or whatever. So I got a 'I saw a cute anime bunny card and thought 'Ali would love that' but then remembered I don't want to buy into that shit and didn't get it. Thought was there though..?'. I painted him a small canvas..didn't really have anything to do with Valentines(*cough*)..even if it is red. There's a story behind all the bits but I'll leave that for your imagination. Ignore the glare..it is all black with no silvery white bits. Though, now I think about it..they would have been pretty cool. He loved it and isn't planning to burn it any time soon. :)
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| Wednesday, November 22nd, 2006
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4:02 am - The Mild Rage. AYE.
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Before I begin, one of the only positive things I found today was that I felt pretty. I felt actually attractive for the first time in too long..even though I was hungover and had a shite day. It was a nice feeling. Hope it continues..
Sometimes wonder why I even bother thinking about doing certain things. They'd most likely go unnoticed. *sigh* I've no idea. It's all up in the air..
Spent tonight in..listening to *depressing* songs such as Mad World, Teardrop and Everybodys Gotta Learn Sometime. These songs make me happy and mellow though. Was MEANT to have tomorrow off. I'd planned to go see the nurse in the morning, go with Lauren to get her haircut at 2pm then go see Lolz in Paisley..and hawl ass back here to do some sewing. Guess what? Went into work today..noticed they'd pencilled me in for tomorrow(12til6) and I'm thinking 'what the fuck? :|'..but I don't say anything..then Nicola turns round at like 5pm and asks if it's okay. Well you'd already pencilled me in so I'm guessing I'm not able to say no anyway! Sake. So aye..managed to get her to make it a 1til6 so I can attempt to see the nurse. I don't know. I wanted to spend tomorrow being happy with people I don't spend any or enough time with. NO, this cannot happen. Was also gonna head out tonight aswell. OH WELL! GAH MEH!
So yeah..I've sat up 'til now for some reason, drinking coffee and watching DCI. I well miss doing drum corps. Aye, it was like six years ago..but still. I miss it.
Been singing my lungs out aswell, since I had the flat to myself all night. Found out I can do pretty decent versions of Coldplay songs. Getting myself a mic when I get paid methinks. Had some recommended to me..but £70 for my first ever mic seems a bit steep to me. Might try and grab a geek to go mic shopping with me..if they can be arsed. ':|'
Can you tell I'm in a good mood? :|
I wanted tomorrow off GODAMMIT. Oh and my phone has almost died on me. Can still make and recieve calls..and seemingly send texts. I've been getting texts from like four days ago tonight though. No idea what's going on..but just a warning if I don't reply to your texts..tis my phone being a ho, I still love y'all.
Aanyway..guess I better go attempt to sleep. Becoming more and more difficult to actually fall asleep lately. Headaches have started up again too.
Btw..see when I think about it, he really bugs me sometimes..and no, I'm not talking about him.
P.S ( Bug eyed, much..? )
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| Saturday, November 18th, 2006
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7:17 pm - Daaamn.
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| Wednesday, November 15th, 2006
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4:34 pm - An age of stuff.
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Hey guys. I only seem to update these days when I'm on a downer. I'm mostly okay. Had the best night out ever on Friday. Went to see Pendulum and other artists(D says they are to be called artists) perform(do a set?) at the Art School. Geez I have no grasp of these phrases. Trying to adopt them and not come accross as a complete idiot. So aye. Best. Never been so happy in such a crowd of people, seriously. Bumping around and smiling so hard it hurt. People elbowing me in the neck and instead of feeling pain..I felt immense joy. No idea, fo' real. Need to do similar again..I'll never dance the same again after that. I felt the music in such a different way..Monday night at the Garage felt so different after that. I love it.
Overall, after the above, I'm insanely chirpy, optimistic and chilled out. It's great. I mean I have the rage..but then it gets pushed to the back of my head and falls out my left ear. It's a good way to be.
Just a bit sick today. Bit my cheek too hard on Friday which has left a large hole where a chunk of it used to live..so that's painful, can't eat much really. Now my throat is also swollen and I feel drowsy and siiiick. BAH! Whole right side of my face is numb with pain and I just want to cuddle up in someones arms and watch cartoons. :(
So aye..I've totally failed to update you people on anything at all. I'm rubbish, I know. Just been working..was at Nessys party the Friday before Halloween and had an amazing time meeting new people and that..which provoked a certain someone into something..but I already told ya'll about that. Since then I've been randomly going out and hanging with D. Oh aye! I went to see Muse last erm..Tuesday? I swear..I was not excited at all. It was a bit surreal how little I was looking forward to it. I kept forgetting I was even going. ':|' I got a little happy when they came on stage and the show was amazing! Everyone around me wasn't really up in the happy stakes so maybe that helped lower the mood? I dunno..left the gig and pretty much forgot it even happened. I hate when this happens. Muse are fucking immense..wish I'd gone down the front with lil sis or something now. *sigh* Friday made up for it..but still.
Our bathroom ceiling has fallen in( Pics here.. )..did I tell you people that? Roof has been letting water in for months, methinks. It eventually burst and now there's a big gaping hole. Been like this for a few weeks now and is getting worse. Wires poking down and the room is bloody freezing. Surely we can refuse to pay rent 'til it's fixed? 'Has to be dry before we can do anything', they say. HM!
Need to head cinema-wards and get me one of those Unlimited cards when I can find the time and money. Too many films are being missed! Got two paintings to do for presents and a whole room to gut. Should probably get on with that..after I post some pics too. :)
( Quite a few pictures and song lyrics.. )
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(16 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, October 22nd, 2006
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6:57 am - Blurry.
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Hey you guys.
After something pretty damn scary happening Thursday night(it's okay now)..I've finally actually managed to get it out my head and am okay. Well..I think I am anyway. Still unsure how I'm meant to handle or deal with such a thing..and I feel kind of selfish for even thinking I should be upset. Ugh.
Anyway. I'm in a reasonably okay mood right now. Been up since 9pm last night..so I'm a bit confused. The only part of me that's tired is my eyes though. I could do with a nap, but work at 11 says that can't happen. I get paid on Wednesday and can't wait to actually have decent food. Been practically eating the crumbs off the kitchen floor..which I suppose is good for my waistline. ^.^ So aye, decent food and some things I really need but keep forgetting to buy.
Halloween plans aren't set in stone yet. That goes for costume and where I'm going. :/ Meant to be borrowing a dress off Lauren but I don't even know if it fits yet..and I don't have any other decent ideas to fall back on. I want to go to the Cathouse, as usual, but it's on a Saturday this year. :| Seriously. No free entry with fancy dress either..which I suppose will save arguments, but will most definitly not save my bank account. Most likely £5 or more to get in..will be packed insanely full of terrifying masks and complete wanks that go to the Cathouse Halloween night for the novelty of going to a 'mad goth' nightclub. Oh, and it's a Saturday. So, as with most Saturdays, it will be shiiite. Rev on actual Halloween would be a better plan. Only know of a handful of people going though, D being one of them. Got the docs at 10.45am the next day. In Linwood. Colour me annoyed. :| So aye, Rev would mean no fake blood or insane amount of alcohol. Going to the docs about headaches and my inability to sleep properly..so being hungover whilst talking him is probably a bad idea. Red stains all over my face would be a bad thing, also.
So many things I want to do..but actually getting them done is a different story. It's always the way.
I really didn't need to know about certain things happening. I guessed they probably would and have..but he didn't have to tell me. :|
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| Wednesday, September 20th, 2006
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12:48 am - Shake that aaasss!
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Fucking hell you guys..I'm happy. :) Can't really say why. Just everything is pretty damn cool right now. Work is a bit rubbish..but that's the only thing(aswell as a really bad cold) that's getting me down lately. Hope you guys are all well! I havn't been writing in my offline diary so my memory is rubbish and I can't remember if there's anything important I should be typing here about. Need to start using it again..cos it's pretty scary that I can't remember exactly what happened yesterday without having to think hard about it.
D left his Futurama discs here so I've pretty much just been ill and watching that all day. Only other human interaction today(bar Stu and Brian) has been Nessy who came to borrow £5. Hope you find your wallet hon! People should use key finders for everything.! Work tomorrow. Chip and Pin has just been installed and it's shit. I'm raging, seriously.
DDR and The Foundations with Tom on Tuesday! Yes, you heard right. DDR!! They've got one in Paisley Union so I'm blatantly going there to abuse it and the cheap drink prices. Payday on Monday aswell. YAS, ETC! Stuff! Ooooft!!
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turningred's journal
